In My Life
by HiMyNameIsTrish
Summary: post Chosen. Buffy, Xander, Dawn, Willow, and Keneddy are staying in the English country side for a bit to recover from their trama. Buffy has been relived of her duties. It's Christmas time and they will all be given a tremendous gift. some X/D stuff.
1. Chapter 1

Hey! Wow. Did you all see the series finale? I laughed, I cried, I cheered, and then I cried some more. How sad was the whole Buffy/Spike thing? And Anya died?!? I knew both were gonna happen but I was just distraught anyway. I think that it ended well as a whole but I think that Spike and Buffy deserved a little something else. And so I have decided to continue the saga on my own. And so, I present to you with this fanfic that came out of my girly brain. Oh and it takes place during the first Christmas after Chosen.  
  
Disclaimer-i don't own these characters.....but i think you knew that already  
  
Chapter 1  
  
Dawn inhaled deeply, the moist morning air filling her lungs. She was glad they had decided to return to England with Giles. She watched the fog rise slowly off the hills and pulled her shaul tighter around her shoulders. Snow had begun to fall lightly, as it was that time of year. She heard light footsteps behind her. She turned to see Xander walking slowly towards her. She smiled at him over her shoulder. He stood behind her, resting his chin on her shoulder and wrapping his arms around her waist. Dawn lightly kissed him on the cheek.   
  
"'Morning," he whispered in her ear.  
  
"Mmm."  
  
"What's wrong?"  
  
"Nothing in particular. Just thinking."  
  
"About what?"  
  
She giggled. "You're a nosy one aren't you?"  
  
"Just curious."  
  
"I was just thinkin about that time when the whole town was possessed so that we sang instead of talked. You and Anya had quite a catchy number."  
  
"Yeah." A single tear rolled down Xander's cheek.  
  
Dawn turned to face him, she had also begun to cry. "Oh, Xander, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to upset you. Sometimes I just talk without thinking. Look, here I go just blabbing on and on and on..."  
  
Xander pulled her tighly against his chest, sobbing heavily. "I just miss them so much."  
  
****************  
  
Buffy Summers pulled the large cable knit sweater over her head. She stood in front of the mirror, pulling her long hair into a tight bun at the back of her head. She walked out of the small room into the kitchen. The farm house was small and old but it offered the kind of warm atmosphere that Buffy had needed. Willow was already awake, flipping pancakes in a large skillet.   
  
"Well good morning sleepyhead," Willow said with a smile.  
  
"Where's Kennedy?" Buffy asked as she grabbed a pancake off the stack and laid it on her plate.  
  
"She went to find Xander and Dawn." Willow sat down at the old butcher-block table across from Buffy. "Pass me the syrup."  
  
Buffy passed Willow the syrup. "Where are they?"  
  
"Probably off in the woods ingaging in some kind of sexual act. Are the pancakes dry to you? Mines dry."  
  
"What?!?"  
  
"Jeez, Buff, I was just kidding. YOu know Xander wouldn't ever try anything like that. They probably went for a walk or something. I think it's good, for both of them. Even though it is kinda creepy."  
  
"You think it's creepy. She's my kid sister and Xander's like my brother and that makes him like her brother by default and.......ewwwwww."  
  
"Please Buffy. I would like to finish my breakfast."  
  
The door flew open and a gust of cold air entered. Xander, Dawn, and Keneddy entered, dusting the snow off of their shoulders.  
  
"It's like hell's freezing over out there," Xander joked as he sat down at the table.   
  
"What?" Buffy nearly leapt out of her chair.  
  
"Chill, Buffy. It's just a joke, a figure of speech," Dawn said as she handed Xander his breakfast and then sat down next to him with her own.  
  
"Oh yeah. Hehe. Sorry guys. It's just, I can't get used to not having to worry about the next end of the world and what not."  
  
"That's understandable," Keneddy sat down next to Willow. Willow smiled at her and rubbed her knee under the table. "So I was planning on going into town today but I think mother nature has other plans."   
  
They all looked out the window. "It's really coming down. I bet we'll have a foot by noon," Xander observed.  
  
"We should probably get the sheep in the barn," Dawn said to him.   
  
"Yah." He wiped his mouth on his sleve and picked up all the empty plates. Willow stood and went to the closet for their coats. She tossed Xander his and put on her heavy parka.   
  
"We'll be back in a bit," Dawn called back as the door closed behind them.  
  
"Maybe we should go get some firewood. We are running a little low," Keneddy said to Willow.  
  
"Good idea."   
  
They quickly left and Buffy was left alone. She sighed and walked to the sink. She started the hot water, letting it pour over the dirty dishes. The past few months had been so lonely. She never imagined that she would miss Spike so much. She was eternaly grateful to him for what he had done. Those last moments had been the some of the most beautiful in her life. And what bothered her most was the way he did not believe her when she told him how she really felt. If only she had one more chance, just one more time to thank him for what he had done for her. She sat down in one of the wooden chairs, her face in her soapy hands. She cried for Spike, for Anya, for her mother. She was so alone and she had just relized it. 


	2. Chapter 2

Hey there reader(s)! I'm home sick today (for the 3rd day in a row) so i have some time on my hands. as for the whole Xander/Dawn thing, well if ya think about it they're not that far apart age wise. but anyway, thanks for the review(s) and I really would like to see more. Also this chapter takes place a few weeks after the last one. Thanks for reading my pointless chatter. Now for the real reason you're here  
  
Chapter 2  
  
The white winter moon shined through the window, reflecting off of the small ornaments on the tree. Willow smiled at her distorted reflection in the small red orb. She giggled sticking out her tongue and puffing out her cheeks at it.   
  
  
  
Buffy laughed. "What on earth are you doing?"  
  
  
  
"Don't even start. I saw you licking that gingerbread man."  
  
  
  
"I just wanted to see if it was still cinamony from last year."  
  
  
  
"Sure, right. That's how it always starts. You lick a gingerbread man and then you're in rehab for people attracked to cookies."  
  
  
  
Buffy stared at her, confused.  
  
  
  
"Yah, I know. I have issues."  
  
  
  
They laughed and continued dressing the Christmas tree. Willow glanced out the window and saw headlights coming up the driveway.   
  
  
  
"They're back." She walked over and unlocked the door.  
  
  
  
"You know what that means."  
  
  
  
"Presents!!!"  
  
  
  
"Hey all!" Xander called as he walked into the small house. He was carrying a huge pile of wrapped boxes. Dawn and Keneddy followed, each with a few things.   
  
  
  
"Wow. Did you buy out the every store in town?" Buffy grabbed some pakages from Xander, placing them under the tree.  
  
  
  
"Well, we wanted to make Christmas, ya know, Christmasy." Dawn flopped down in an old warn in chair. "I'm pooped."  
  
  
  
"So do we open presents now?" Keneddy sat down on the ottoman and Willow sat down behind her.   
  
  
  
"Ooh yes! Presents now!" Xander sat on Dawns lap, causing her to cough. She shoved him but he wouldn't budge.  
  
  
  
"Get off of me!"   
  
  
  
"You look like you're the proud mother of an extremely large child." Buffy smiled at them. No matter how weird it had seemed to her, she was genuinley happy for both of them. Dawn had liked Xander for a long time and Xander had needed someone to hold on to after he lost Anya. 'If only I could find someone...' Buffy thought.  
  
  
  
"So who wants to go first?" Willow sat on the floor next to the tree.  
  
  
  
"How about Buffy?" Kennedy suggested. "I think i see one right there with her name on it."   
  
  
  
Willow handed the longish box to Buffy. "It's from us." She smiled up at Keneddy.  
  
  
  
Buffy carefully unrapped the box and opened the lid. Inside was a wooden stake. It had her name carved into it with the saying "She saves the world...alot" below. "Thanks guys."  
  
  
  
"Hopefully you'll never hafta use it. But we thought it was a nice memento." Willow looked into her friend's eyes, to see if she really liked it.  
  
  
  
"It's...it's wonderful." She smiled at them.  
  
  
  
"Group hug." Keneddy pulled Willow and Buffy into a three way embrace.   
  
  
  
"Ok ok. Now I wanna give Buffy my present." Dawn successfully shoved Xander off her lap. She rummaged under the tree until she found what she was looking for. She turned to Buffy, handing her and package. Buffy smiled at her sister as she tore off the paper. A tear roled down Buffy's cheek as she looked apon her beloved stuffed pig, Mr. Gordo.   
  
  
  
"Dawn, how, how did you get this?" Buffy wiped the tears from her eyes.  
  
  
  
"I took it before we left for the school. I figured you might want it."   
  
  
  
Buffy pulled Dawn into a warm embrace. "Thanks Dawn."  
  
****************  
  
"Well, I'm gonna turn in." Xander stood and stretched. He walked over to Buffy and kissed her head. "Merry Christmas, Buff."  
  
Buffy grinned at him. She snuggled deeper into her chair. She watched the fire jumped and crackled in the stone fireplace. She hugged Mr. Gordo tightly to her chest. Her heavy eyelids fell closed. Her mind drifted to Spike. She imagined him there with her, holding her as she slept. They had shared that closeness so many times. She longed for the safety that was in his embrace, the adoration that she knew he felt for her. She remembered the last time she had seen him. She had finally declared her love for him and he didn't believe her. She sighed and softly sobbed. She sniffled and tried to fall asleep.  
  
Just as Buffy was on the verge of sleep she felt a hand rub against her cheek. Her eyes fluttered open as she tried to make out the shape in front of her. She was pulled to her feet by two strong hands. She blinked as the figure in front of her came into focus. She was so confused she almost started crying.  
  
"Are you...are you realy you?"   
  
He smiled down at her and lifted up her chin. He kissed her tenderly, the familiar feeling sending sensations from her lips to the ends of her hair. When they finally separated Buffy collapsed into Spike's strong arms. She laid her head on his chest and closed her eyes, smiling. Her eyes suddenly snapped open as an unfamiliar sound arose from deep in Spike's chest. She looked up at him, questioningly.   
  
"I'm back Buffy. I'm really back." 


	3. Chapter 3

Hey readers! Sorry I haven't updated in like forever but i've been busy with school and finals and such and then i was on vacation so i figgured i'd write some before i get too into my summer schedule of doin nothing. o yah and happy summer too you all! now back to our little story  
  
Chapter 3  
  
Willow tossed over in her bed tiredly. She squinted her eyes against the bright morning light reflecting off of the fresh snow. She looked over at Kenedy who was still in a deep sleep, the courners of her mouth curled in a small smile. Willow looked at her for a bit, wondering what she was dreaming about. She then stood, wrapping a warm blanket around her shoulders. She padded out into the kitchen in her bare feet. Xander was sitting in the living room, poking at the fire.   
  
He looked up as she came into the room. "Hey. 'Morning."  
  
"Where's Dawn?" Willow plopped down in one of the chairs.   
  
"Still sleeping. Hey, who did laundry last?"  
  
"I did. Why?"  
  
"I'm missing a sweater and a pair of jeans....and my boots are missing too."   
  
Willow just shrugged. "I folded everything and put it in your dresser."  
  
Xander just went back to the fire, trying to work up a good flame. "I must have just passed over them." He paused for a moment. "I wonder what happened to my boots."  
  
****************  
  
Spike gazed down at Buffy as she led him throught the woods. She was just as he had remembered, small but strong, soft but hard. She was Buffy, his Buffy. She smiled up at him and took his hand. He felt his heart leap within his chest. The unfamiliar feeling caused him to smile. "So, where are you taking me?"  
  
"You'll see." She slowed down to walk beside him, feeling her small fingers intwined with his. Just feeling him with her, she was afraid she would cry again. They walked along together in silence until they came to the top of a hill overlooking a deep valley. Buffy squated down and brushed off the snow, revealing a patch of solid, frozen ground. She sat down and patted the ground beside her. Spike sat, and pulled his knees up to his chest.   
  
They sat together in silence for some time. Buffy leaned her head on his shoulder as he gently rubbed her back. He looked out at the valley bellow. "It's nice." He looked down at her, wondering why she had led him here.   
  
"Everyday, since we got her, I would come to this spot. It was the highest point I could climb to. The closest I could be to you." She squeezed his hand. "Did you see her?"  
  
Spike kissed the top of her head. He leand his head on hers. "I did. She loves you very much you know." He felt her heave with sobs. "She sent me back here...to take care of you."  
  
She looked at his face, examining each detail and line of his strong features. He lightly kissed her cheek bones, tasting her salty tears. He turned himself so that his body was facing her. "I wasn't lying. That day, I was telling the truth."  
  
  
  
"I know, love. I know."   
  
"This whole time, before, I didn't think you did. Why would you lie?"  
  
"It was just, easier that way. I thought that if I pretended...but that doesn't matter now." He smiled and thouched his forehead to hers.   
  
"I've missed you."  
  
"I know. But I'm here now."  
  
Buffy reached up and ran her hand over his smooth face. She smiled widely. "You're so warm." She gently kissed his lips.   
  
"Is that all then?" He laughed and smiled at her. She grabbed the collar of his shirt, pushing him to the ground, passionately kissing him. "Now that's more like it." He grabbed her face in his hands, becoming familar again with the feel of her lips, the taste of her mouth. Buffy reached down and started to undo the button of his jeans. He quickly pulled her hand away. "Buffy, please don't."  
  
She was confused and surprised. "Wow, being alive again has really messed up your sex drive."  
  
"It-it's not that. I just don't want to rush into things. Last time, doing this, things didn't turn out so well."  
  
"But things are different now. You're...it's just different now."  
  
"I know, I know. Later. And I don't know about you, but I really don't wanna be naked out here in the cold."   
  
Buffy chucked to herself, and laid her head down on his chest. She inhaled, the smell of him setting off tiny fireworks in her brain. "I want to keep you all to myself." She hugged him tighter and closed her eyes.   
  
"Don't you think Xander will be curious about his clothes constantly dissappearing? And there's only so many places you can hide a man."  
  
"I know, I have to tell them. But what do I say? 'Hey remember Spike? Well, the funny thing is he's back from the grave but in an un-vampirey way this time. So the person we've been kinda grieving for the past few months is back. Makes us all look a little silly huh?' They won't understand."  
  
"Of course they will. They brought you back without any trouble right? It's the same thing only less work." 


	4. Chapter 4

Hey. I'm goin away on Sunday so i figgered i'd add another chapter to this little sappy love story. I really would like some reviews. It's not so much to ask is it? I mean if your hamster is on fire and you don't have alot of time before he sets the whole house aflame, then just type good/bad. If you have time elaborate. I like to read too. Speaking of reading, read the english patient and then see the movie. I bawled like a little baby. o i do so love ralph fiennes. and i do love james marsters. listening to ghost of the robot as i type. sigh......i do love the musical/artistic types. but turning away from my rantings about guys *slobber drool* here is the new chapter. PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Chapter 4  
  
Dawn was sitting in the living room, looking through a book of spells Buffy had given Buffy. She ran her fingers over the old, yellow pages. The words enchanted her, as if they were written in some dead language that she had the urge to decipher. A knock on the door startled her. She quickly placed the text in the exact spot she had found it and walked to the door. Opening it, she found her sister.  
  
"Buffy. We were wondering where you went. Who's...." She looked up at the mans face and realized who Buffy was standing with. She felt her face move into that of confusion.   
  
Buffy reached out and grabbed her sister before she hit the ground. "Help me get her in the house." Buffy sighed and lifted Dawn by the arms as Spike grabbed her legs. They carried her into the house, laying her on the couch. Buffy could hear Willow whistling in one of the other rooms. "Go in the second door on the left and just sit on the bed and wait. Shut the door behind you," she whispered to Spike. He knodded and went into the room, her bed room.   
  
He looked at the bare walls, the cold white. The dresser was plain, probably filled with an infinate number of sweaters and such. The only thing that hinted at who inhabited the space was the stuffed pig on the bed and the picture of a woman, Buffy's mother, on the dresser. Spike picked up the framed photograph and sat down on the bed. He examined the image. "I'm with her now," he whispered. "I promise I'll take care of her, just like I said I would."  
  
He placed the picture on the nightstand next to the bed. He bent down, unlacing his boots, Xander's boots. He made a note to himself to ask Buffy if they could go shopping tomorrow as he pulled the sweater off over his head. He pulled the warm blankets down on the bed and slid under them. He laid his head down on Buffy's pillow, her scent filling his senses as he let himself fall into a deep sleep. He had forgotten what it was like to be so tired.  
  
****************  
  
Willow dusted the dresser, running the cloth thourght the intricate detail on the drawers. She smiled as she let the light of the natural wood shine through. She saw someone out of the corner of her eye and jumped.  
  
"Buffy! Jeez, you really scared me." She went on with her work. "We were looking for you this morning."  
  
"I know." Buffy paused. "I, ummm, really need to talk to you about something."  
  
Sensing the seriousness in Buffy's voice, Willow set the dust rag aside and sat down on the bed. She patted the space beside her, inviting Buffy to join her. She hesitated and then sat.   
  
"What's on your mind?"  
  
"Where's everyone else?"  
  
"Dawn's out there," she gestured out the door, "and Ken and Xander went into town. Buffy what is it? You can tell me."  
  
"Willow...you're really not going to believe this."  
  
  
  
"In all your years of knowing me, have I ever not believed anything crazy?"  
  
Buffy smiled at her. "This is pretty...amazing though Will."  
  
Willow just smiled lopsidedly at her.  
  
"It's about Spike."  
  
"Oh, sweetie, it'll be alright. I know the holidays are hard after losing someone but..."  
  
Buffy just smiled. "Willow, he's back."  
  
"WHAT!?! How? What?"  
  
"I know. It's amazing."  
  
"How? Where is he?"  
  
"He's in my room. I wanted to tell you first. Dawn took one look at him and pow she was out like a light."  
  
"Did you do a spell?"  
  
"Me? No! I think it was...my mothers wants him to look after me."  
  
"Did he say that?"  
  
"Yes, he was in heaven with her, Will."  
  
"So he's..."  
  
"He's human."  
  
"Can I see him?"  
  
They walked to Buffy's room and looked in. Willow's jaw nearly dropped to the floor.  
  
"Wow. He's really...him," Willow wispered so she wouldn't wake him up.   
  
"How do I explain this to Dawn? I know she's seen some amazing things but this is different."  
  
"You know what I think? I think you should let Spike tell her."  
  
"Yea?"  
  
"Mmmhmm."  
  
"Now I just need to talk to Xander."  
  
"Let me handle him."  
  
"Are you sure?"  
  
"Yeah. I'll grab him before he even makes it in the door."  
  
"Really, Will?"  
  
"Yup, I'll meat him in town. I had to pick up a few things anyway." She hugged Buffy and left.  
  
Buffy stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame. She watched him. Spike's brow furrowed as if he was concentrating on something. Buffy walked over to the bed and sat down next to him. He was so far into sleep, more relaxed than she had ever seen him. She crawled under the covers with him, shoes and all. She wrapped he arms around him and rested his head on the flat part of her chest. She ran her fingers through his bleched hair, felling the strands slip between her fingers. With each breath, she felt the warm air of his exhale on her chest. She kissed the top of his head.   
  
Spike's eyelids fluttered and then opened. He jumped a bit, surprised to be enclosed in someone's embrace. "Mmmm. 'ello."  
  
"Hey."  
  
"I was dreaming. I thought I was being held by an angel."  
  
"I'm sorry to wake you then."  
  
"Nah. This is better."  
  
****************  
  
Dawn woke with a start. She searched her memory, trying to remember what had happened, why she was on the couch. Then she knew. She had seen him. "Buffy!" There was no answer. "Buffy!" Had Buffy even come home? Had any of it even happened? I must be going crazy, she thought. She stared at the celing. I wish Xander was here, she thought. Dawn felt someone touch her wrist and jumped at the unexpected contact. She looked into his eyes. "Spike? But...you're-you're...Buffy!!!"  
  
"Dawn, shhh. It's really me."  
  
"No. It can't be. You're dead."  
  
"No. I'm back." He took her hand, holding her palm to his chest. She could feel the thumping in his chest. The first sign of life.  
  
"Spike?" He nodded, smiling at the corners of his mouth. The tears filled her eyes and Dawn was unable to hold them back. She collapsed in his arms. "I missed you so much."  
  
"Shhh. It's alright now. Everything's going to be alright."  
  
****************  
  
Willow walked through the small village. There were few people out in the cold but the few that she passed smiled and greeted her. Willow had always wanted to live in a place like this growing up. Everyone knew and trusted everyone else. No one felt the need to lock their doors at night. It was easy to find Keneddy and Xander. They were in the small grocer, picking cans from the old shelves. "Hey guys." She waved at them in a small, Willow way.   
  
"Hey Will. Look, canned bread." Xander handed her the tin can.  
  
"I always wondered when they would finally can every food in the world." Willow placed it back on the shelf. "So are you guys almost finished?"  
  
"Yah, actually we just need a few more things. Why?" Kennedy asked as they walked down the isle.   
  
Willow took her by the hand. "Xander, we'll meet you outside." She led Kennedy out onto the sidewalk. "Something's come up, something big."  
  
"What is it? Is Buffy ok?"  
  
"Spike's back."  
  
"But that can't be he's-"  
  
"Dead?"  
  
"Yeah."  
  
  
  
"He came back somehow and it's gonna be really weird around here for a while. I don't want you to feel uncomfortable."   
  
"I understand. I can catch a train into London tomorrow and get a plane from there."  
  
"I didn't mean for you to leave."  
  
"I know. I think it would be best if you guys were alone for a while."  
  
"You're so good to me." Willow kissed her lightly.  
  
"Only because you're so good to me." Kennedy winked at her.   
  
Xander walked out with the groceries. "So what are you ladies chatting about?"   
  
"Ya know. I needed to pick up some new boots. I'm gonna go down to the shoe store and I'll see you guys back at the house. Ok?" Kennedy quickly hurried down the street leaving Xander and Willow alone.  
  
"What was that all about?" Xander asked as they began to walk to the house.  
  
"I really need to talk to you. Something's happened."  
  
"What do you mean? Everything's alright, right?"  
  
"Oh yeah, well, yeah. It's just..."  
  
"What is it?"  
  
"Alright. It's Spike."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"He's back."  
  
"What do you mean he's back. He's dead. Well he was always dead but he's actually gone dead."  
  
"He was. But he's alive now."  
  
"I don't understand. How can he be back? People just don't come back."  
  
"Buffy did."  
  
"Buffy didn't come back. We brought her back."  
  
"Well it doesn't matter how he got here. But he's here and we just have to adjust."  
  
They walked the rest of the way home in silence. 


	5. Chapter 5

Hey there readers! I am back from my lovely vacation and I'm all set to write again. Thanks for the reviews! ok. here we go.  
  
Chapter 5  
  
Willow, Xander, Buffy, Dawn, and Spike all stood in the front lawn, waving, as the cab took Kennedy away. They all walked back into the house and sat down around the table.  
  
"So." Xander folded his hands on the table. There was an uncomfortable silence.  
  
"Well, welcome back." Willow smiled at Spike.  
  
"Thanks."   
  
"So how did this work exactly? Like how did you get from there to here? Special x-vampire privilages?" Xander asked snidely.  
  
"Well, Buffy needed me." Spike ganced at her, making her blush.  
  
"So as usual, whatever Buffy needs, she gets."   
  
"Xander!" Willow could not believe he was behaving like this.  
  
"What Willow? Just because Buffy claims to be in love, AGAIN, her re-dead vampire lover gets to come back? Well what about Anya? What about Tara? When do they come back?" He stood up and walked out of the house, slamming the door behind him.  
  
Dawn started crying. Spike put his arm around her shoulder, trying to comfort her. "I'm so sorry. I don't know why he's acting like this," she said between sobs.  
  
"I'll go talk to him." Willow walked out into the cold. She followed his footprints in the snow to the car. He was sitting in the driver's seat, arms crossed across his chest. She sighed and slid into the passenger's seat.  
  
  
  
"Hey."   
  
"Hey."  
  
"So what's on your mind?" He sighed heavily. "It'll make you feel better is you tell me."  
  
"It's just that...it's... It's not fair. Spike was evil. He killed hundreds of people. And yet he gets to go to heaven AND come back? How is that fair?"  
  
"It's not, ok. It's not fair. But look at how happy Buffy is now compared to how she's been these past few months. Don't you think that after all she's been through she deserves some happiness?"  
  
"Well what about my happiness, huh? When does Anya get sent back? Oh wait! She doesn't. She's dead."  
  
"You know what Xander? You're not the only person in the world who's lost someone! Don't you think that I wish and hope and pray that Tara could be here with us?"  
  
"And it's not fair that she's not!"  
  
"Of course it's not fair! It's not fair that she just happened to be standing in that window when that bullet was fired! It's not fair that Anya was killed! It's not fair that Dawn and Buffy lost their mother! It's not fair that we never got to be real teenagers! It's not fair that Buffy was chosen to be the slayer! But Xander, no one said that life was fair!"  
  
"Willow, I'm sorry."  
  
"And how do you think what you said in there makes Dawn feel? She loves you Xander. Do you understand how precious that is? Don't you care for her?"  
  
"Of course I do. It's just that...what would Anya think? She's only been dead a few months and I've already moved on?"  
  
"You have to stop worrying about what Anya thinks. She'll always love you, you know that. But the truth is, she's not here and Dawn is."  
  
"God, I'm an asshole."  
  
"Well only sometimes."  
  
"Thanks Will. You always know how to help me come to terms with my inner asshole."  
  
"Can we go back inside now? I can't feel my ear lobes." 


	6. Chapter 6

Hey! wow i haven't written anything on here for a super long time! i've been watching buffy on FX like every day now cause they finally got up to the Buffy/Spike stuff! Yay! Anywho, it's sort of 'inspired me to get writing again. Seriously they are just too great for eachother. But enough of my random ramblings. On with the story.  
  
Chapter 6  
  
Xander walked silently into the house. Buffy and Spike were still sitting at the kitchen table. Buffy looked up at him and smiled gently.   
  
"Where's Dawn?"  
  
"She went back to bed."  
  
Xander knodded and walked down the hall. He slowly opened the door. He stepped into the room that he shared with Dawn. She was curled up on the bed, the patched quitl wrapped tighly around her shoulders.  
  
"Dawn."   
  
She tighly closed her eyes, forcing tears to run down her cheeks. "Leave me alone," she muttered through clenched teeth.  
  
"I didn't mean it the way it sounded." He sat down on the bed and stroked her red hair.  
  
"Then what did you mean?" She quickly sat up, looking him straight in the eye.   
  
"I miss her. I do. I loved her Dawn. I almost married her for Christ's sake!"  
  
"Why are you telling me this?" Dawn started crying even harder.  
  
"Listen to me Dawn. If there's one thing I've learned from living in Sunnydale, it's to just forget about the past and just live for the day. Cause in Sunnydale, ya never knew when the next apocalypse was comin. And today, right now, I love you." He kissed her lightly on the lips.  
  
"I love you too."  
  
He grinned at her. "Then what are we fighting for?" He pushed her down onto the bed and nuzzeled her stomach. She giggled and ran her fingers through his dark hair. 


	7. Chapter 7

Oh my gosh you guys! I haven't been on this site in like forever and a day! :o but I am back with a vengance. summer is here yet again! yay! junior year is finally over and now i can just get back to fun stuff like writing and umm nursing my horrible sun burn. being irish is a bitch. i have three different skin colors. the pasty white winter look, the horrible tomato look, and the color that the underside of mike commacho's arm in the winter. that is my tan. but i'm not here to talk about my skin. on with the story....  
  
WARNING!!!!: THIS CHAPTER CONTAINS ADULT SUBJECT MATTER NOT SUITED FOR CHILDREN! SERIOUSLY! YOU! YES YOU WITH THE PIGTAILS AND THE RETAINER! I MEAN YOU!  
  
P.S.-umm don't mind the cheesy language in the love scene. i've been reading some historical romance novels recently and well they're just words that aren't as profane as others so i'm sorry. yes the term 'love canyon' is indeed a horrible one and i apologize. please forgive me.  
  
Chapter 7  
  
Dawn woke up with a start. It must have been almost morning as the sky had turned a deep purple. Xander slept silently beside her, a boyish grin on his face. She rose from the bed, pulling her night gown back down untill it fell below her knees. She walked silently through the house. No one else was awake yet. As she entered the small kitchen, she felt a chill run through her body. Someone had left the window open over the sink. She walked over to shut it and something caught her eye. A lone wolf was standing outside, alone in the melting snow. It looked directly at Dawn, as if calling to her. She smiled softly at the beautiful creature. It blinked and then turned and trotted off into the forrest.  
  
No, wait. Come back! Dawn thought hurridly as she grabbed a chunk of bread off the counter. She wasn't even sure that wolves ate bread but it was all she had. She ran quickly as her bare feet smacked against the slush. The wolf's tracks were clear in the snow and mud. In a few moments she stopped suddenly. The large, gray wolf stood in her path. It was growling fiercely, showing sharp glistening teeth. Dawn stepped back slowly, praying to whoever would listen that she would live. Suddenly the ferocious animal leapt through the air. She cried out as she dove to the ground, feeling a rock hit her hip as she went down. It would bruise, she knew. After a few moments she opened her eyes.  
  
She was not dead. She sat up and looked around. The wolf was sitting in front of her, panting. A dead snake at its side. Dawn smiled. She grabbed the hunk of bread that she had dropped in her fall and held it out to the wolf. It took it gently between his teeth and ran off with it. Dawn smiled. Something about the animal comforted her. She stood up and brushed herself off. She had to get back or else there would be hell to pay from Buffy.  
  
When she got home, everyone was still asleep. She silently crept back into bed with Xander. He groaned and rolled over towards her.  
  
"Where have you been?"  
  
"What are you talking about?"  
  
"Just now."  
  
"I was umm out sketchin the sunrise."  
  
"Really. Your feet are freezing."  
  
"I was on a walk ok? I just wanted to be alone for a second."  
  
"Fair enough." He kissed her firmly on her forehead. "Just promise me one thing?"  
  
"And what's that?" She snuggled onto his chest  
  
"Never leave me alone in bed again. It gets too cold in here alone."  
  
Buffy smiled. The light was just kissing her eyelashes. Spike's arms held her close to him. She watched his eyes as he slept. His brow furrowed and she saw a look of fear and frustration come over his face. He looked as if he was trying to fight something off. A soft whimper escaped his lips. She gently laid her palm on his cheek. His eyes suddenly snapped open.  
  
"Oh thank God." He slowly exhaled.  
  
"Bad dream?" she asked.  
  
"I think so." He kissed the top of her head. "Doesn't matter now." He closed his eyes and tried to go back to sleep.  
  
"Spike."  
  
"Yes love?"  
  
"Umm I was wondering..." She sat up, the blanket covering her naked chest. "It's just that well you've been back for a while now and we haven't..."  
  
"Oh I thought you'd never ask."  
  
Spike rolled over on top of her, kissing her passionately. She ran her hands through his hair, raking her nails over all the delicate hairs on the back of his neck. Spike moved his mouth down over her collar bone. He gently kissed the little empty pool. He could feel her blood pumping through her veins. She gasped as he gently bit her neck. "Just kidding love." He chuckled softly. Buffy's fingers worked swifty to untie the bow of his sweat pants. She wanted him now. She had to have him. "Woah. Slow down, pet. There will be plently of that later. I just need to get reaquainted with the territory. It's been a very long time." He gently slid his finger trough her love canyon, making her gasp sharply.  
  
Buffy swallowed sharply. "Oh Spike. Please."  
  
"Not so quick love. You must be patient." He leaned down to kiss her but suddenly found himslef on his back. He chuckled to himself. "It's amazing how you can double your body weight at will."  
  
"It's just one of the perks of slayerhood." She quickly pulled his pants down around his thighs. She leaned down and kissed him passionately as she slid down his shaft. She sat up agian, slowly moving up and down, feeling him inside her. He leaned his head back and let out a huge sigh, mostly of relief. Buffy's eyes fell closed as she moved harder and faster. It had beeen too long. "Oh God. Spike..." She could feel the sweat moving down her body as she felt him moving with her, his hands holding her hips, his fingers electifying the small of her back. Buffy cried out loudly as she came, not worrying about anyone hearing her. She felt like she was miles away from anyone.  
  
"Oh Buffy!" Spike soon joined in her wild love cries. She collapsed onto his chest, trying to catch her breath. "You never cease to surprise me." He ran his fingers through her silky blonde hair.  
  
"Mmmm. I'm tricky like that. You never know what I'm gonna do next."  
  
"Another slayer thing?"  
  
"Nah. More like a Buffy-in-love thing." 


End file.
